Tuesday, September 4, 2012

5 steps to dealing with conflict

Conflict can arise at work or at home and the best thing to do is to resolve what the issue is and this is by listening to the other person’s viewpoint and then trying to negotiate and reaching a compromise.

If you don’t reach a compromise, whatever the issue is will get worse and could blow out of all proportion. This can then lead to being angry and getting stressed.

It is best to handle conflict openly and directly.

  1. A positive approach between two people involves effective communication by understanding how each other feels and then negotiating with a little bit of give and take. 
  2. Find out what the other person is looking for and wants and you be assertive and state exactly what you are looking for.  
  3. You have the power to say how you feel.
  4. Say what you are looking for and then let the other person say what they are looking for. 
  5. You will then need to either meet in the middle or give a little and then they may give in a little to reach a happy and useful compromise.

Try and practice and this will help you be a better negotiator and can deal with conflict effectively.

Have a great day..............

Jessica Smyrl is a HR and Wellbeing consultant at www.ysmsolutions.co.uk

Tuesday, July 24, 2012

Stress is still No. 1 reason for long-term sickness absence


Stress is a now a big problem within the workplace in the UK and is it being tackled effectively? Many people are concerned about their jobs and many organisations have to take measures to reduce costs; stress needs to be tackled from the boardroom to ensure that it is a priority. So often it is now found at work that one person is trying to do ‘two persons’ jobs. With the impact of increasing job insecurity and larger workloads on UK workforce this can in time lead to burnout.

With the most recent Absence Management Survey carried out by the Chartered Institute of Personnel and Development (CIPD) and Simply Health, it was found that stress is now the No. 1 reason of long-term sickness absence for both manual and non-manual employees and it is the first time this has been the case since publication of the first report 12 years ago.

Dr Jill Miller, adviser at the CIPD stated that line managers have a crucial role to play in tackling this growing problem: "It's a difficult time for people at the moment. At work there are pay freezes and job uncertainty, while at home there are increased bills. Employers need to be approachable and create a culture where they are open about the situation and are available to answer any questions employees may have. Early intervention is key when dealing with stress-related health problems and line managers are well-placed to spot the early warning signs that employees are stressed. "But to do this they need to be supported by HR, so they are confident in holding good quality conversations and taking steps like reducing workloads and offering flexible working," she added.

A high level of organisational change is also a major factor in the cause of stress according to Dr Miller and is particularly prevalent in the public sector, where 50% of respondents reported an increase stress-related absence.

Buy-in at a strategic level is essential and organisations should have a Stress Policy which has been fully endorsed by the Board. This requires to be an effective and positive action which will result in a more productive and effective workforce. There is clear research and evidence to prove that this works and is the only way that stress will be reduced effectively. There needs to be a ‘champion’ at board level to oversee what is happening throughout the organisation and who is also passionate about a clear strategic direction on how to tackle and prevent stress within the workplace.

Many organisations are using the term ‘wellbeing’ or ‘resilience’ as this is more positive than giving a negative ‘stress’ theme.
When this happens it results in blurring and potential avoidance of the problem. It leaves those who are under stress not wanting to say how they actually feel and they may suffer in silence and then show and demonstrate clear signs of stress. In these instances, managers may not have been trained on how to tackle stress and are unsure how to manage it effectively. Training managers should be seen as a top priority from board level otherwise it will not work throughout the organisation. Only once stress has been tackled can the next stage be effective to have a more resilient workforce with a clear wellbeing strategy to go forward.

When managers are not aware of what to look for when someone is under stress, or they themselves are under stress, can lead to many problems such as bullying, intimidation and harassment. There are many good managers and they will work with their staff to help and support them. However, on the other hand there are managers who are actually causing stress to their team and are possibly unaware of it. This leads to dysfunctional teams, poor performance and reduced confidence resulting in an increase in long-term sickness absence.

Managers and HR teams are often so close to an individual(s) that they cannot look at their case objectively instead they may think the person is ‘at it’ when they say that they are under stress. This can have a very negative impact on the individual leaving them in a situation that they go off long-term sick. Instead the manager and HR professional should look not only at the individual but those around them to establish if there is a reason for one person claiming they are under stress. The person may be angry or showing clear signs of stress which can be part of a more deep rooted problem within a team.

Stress can have a major impact on our health both in the short and long-term and it is therefore time to create better jobs which are more focussed on an improved work and life balance.


www.yourstressmanagement.co.uk - training, consultancy, coaching for organisations and individuals

www.stressassistance.co.uk  - for free tips on stress and wellbeing





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Thursday, May 17, 2012

Workplace stress will rise over the next five years


Eight out of ten workers across Europe think that workplace stress will rise over the next five years according to a recent major survey. The survey of 35,000 people in 36 European countries has found that 80% of people thought that job-related stress would increase, and 52% felt that it would increase “a lot”.


The results were from the Ipsos Mori survey, conducted on behalf of the European Agency for Safety and Health at Work (EU-OSHA), which also showed that 86% agreed that good occupational safety and health practices are necessary for a country to remain economically competitive.

The findings support a previous EU-OSHA’s survey on new and emerging workplace risks (ESENER). This identified that 79% of managers think stress is an issue in their companies, making stress at work as important as workplace accidents for companies, the agency said. This is one of the main reasons all stress management professionals who are ISMAuk members, state that all managers should be trained on how to manage and identify stress in the workplace. This is no longer a luxury for organisations, no matter the size, that it is essential to train managers on how to manage and identify stress effectively in the workplace. The benefits are enormous such as reduced sickness absence, reduced presenteeism, increased productivity which in turn impacts on the profits, a fitter and happier workforce.


Thursday, February 9, 2012

Stress Management for Carers

I was delighted to be asked by Wendy Maxwell of chill4us.com to do a hosted chat for carers. This was the first time I have done this and there was a great deal of interest around stress and the stress of carers. It was clear that they were all under stress with the pressures of caring and I really wanted to highlight the difference between stress and pressure and the impact of long-term stress on carers. Stress is the adverse reaction to a build up of excessive pressure when it gets to a point when an individual is unable to cope. 

It is essential that carers do take care of themselves and look after their own health and this is by making sure that they eat a regular nutritious meal daily and one vitamin which is reduced when under stress is Vitamin C. It helps the immune system and can be found in citrus fruits such as oranges, grapefruit also mangos, kiwi fruit and another good source is blueberries. Blueberries are one of the best sources of immune boosting plus anti-aging antioxidants so you can either buy them fresh or dry and ready-to-eat.

We should all take some time out which can be very difficult but vital, try and have a relaxing bath or long shower and pamper yourself – you will feel better after it.

Chill4us is a great support for carers and is run by carers and ex-carers with a forum to support each other. It was lovely to find out more about their work and also the fact that it is all unpaid. If there is anyone who is reading this blog who has any spare ‘old’ laptops, then Chill4us will be able to make good use of them, so get in touch with Wendy.

Having written my book ‘Stress Management for Carers’ I am always very keen to give advice and training to carers and carer organisations on how to manage stress. It has such an impact on life.

I just had an email from a carer who attended one of my courses and had just read my book, she said “the book is excellent and a great support to so many people as well as a real personal achievement”.

The stress assistance website is a new resource of tips and information for all to access freely and sign up to a monthly newsletter.
http://www.stressassistance.co.uk/




Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Looking over the past year and looking forward to the New Year

We are almost at the end of 2011 and it seems to have flown past at such a rate. I met a friend for a meal last night and we had met exactly a year ago and it almost felt like a few month’s ago. This made me think about what has actually happened during 2011.

The vision of YSM (Your Stress Management) is to ‘help to prevent stress and improve wellbeing’ and since the start of the year we have had new clients from all different sectors and more large companies.

With YSM’s innovative products, the Stress Pack for Managers has proved to be a great success with interest from all areas of the UK. It has been an amazing year and that there have been large and small companies getting in touch for either our services or products. The Wellbeing Day has been a great success with the focus on health promotion. However, when employees do attend these events, they always talk about stress and how it is impacting on their bodies. This re-emphasises that stress is a big problem within the workplace and when tackled does lead to more positive and energised employees.

On a personal note, I had my book Stress Management for Carers published by Chipmunka Publishing which was amazing and I am sure will help and benefit carers and non-carers alike. Last month, I was really pleased to hear from Lynne Kennedy, editor of Business Women Scotland magazine to say that I will be joining as a contributor to BWS magazine and will cover specific topics especially on ‘how to deal with stress in the workplace’. Link to the latest issue http://issuu.com/businesswomenscotland/docs/bws.13_for_online

The next year will continue with product innovation and the latest one is our monthly Health Directions Newsletter which is personalised for each company, no matter the size. Special rates are available for the third sector.
www.yourstressmanagement.co.uk/corporate-wellbeing.html There is a sample to download plus a monthly poster, and prices are dependent on the size of the company.

YSM will continue to support companies to reduce stress at work and I sincerely hope that they will  find that it does make a huge difference to all their employees and their business. Healthy employees equates to a healthy business. Maybe this should be the main strap line of YSM for 2012.

A Happy and a Prosperous New Year to all our customers, friends and readers and as always, really happy for any comments or suggestions.

This post was written by Jessica Smyrl of Your Stress Management specialising in helping to prevent and reduce stress in the workplace, providing consultancy, training and effective and innovative support. For further details, please contact Jessica on 07899 756809.


Friday, December 9, 2011

Have a Stress free Christmas

With Christmas fast approaching and many people worried about their jobs, homes and families, it can be difficult to focus on Christmas time. I have a few areas that may help in the run up to Christmas and let me know if they are useful. There are lots of bargains, so try not to feel under pressure that you need to buy an expensive gift - if you grab a bargain it will make you feel good.


  1. Make a list of all the people you need to buy for and list what you are going to buy for them. Better to plan ahead as this can be extremely stressful if you don’t know what you want to buy or forget some members of the family you need to buy for.
  2. Shop if possible well before Christmas and have a clear idea of where you want to shop.
  3. Take a break in-between shopping and have a cup of tea, fruit juice or water and ensure that you are having plenty of fluids and sustenance to keep hydrated and to maintain energy levels.
  4. Let the bus or train take the strain instead of taking the car and having problems parking the car or try ‘park and ride’.
  5. Wear comfortable shoes and clothes as this can cause you to feel sore, hot and bothered which in turn leads to feeling under pressure.
  6. If you are not sure what to buy someone, get a gift voucher as almost every shop has got them available or buy online.
  7. Can’t find anything suitable to buy, then check online when you go home.
  8. Go with a friend or relative and enjoy the shopping experience – let them go for their presents and then meet up for a break at a specific time. This helps both of you to get what YOU want to buy.
  9. Many shops offer a complimentary gift-wrapping service and this is a great stress-reliever, so use it and some ask for a donation to a charity which is a great way of giving to someone else at Christmas.
  10. Remember to enjoy yourself and take some time to relax.
  11. Order all your food well in advance of Christmas and pick up from the shop – this is a free service and great to use.
  12. If you start to feel panicky at any time, then slow your breathing down – in through your nose and out through your mouth. Do this for a few minutes, and then carry on or just feel more relaxed and head for home and a long, relaxing soak in the bath and a fragranced candle and soft music in the background.


Friday, December 2, 2011

Stress Insight – for managers and individuals

Stress is the most common cause of long-term sickness absence within from the workplace according to a recent CIPD/Simply health survey. The new figures reveal for the first time that stress causes the majority of serious health problems for both manual and non-manual workers and the survey also found that companies planning redundancies are significantly more likely to see an increase in mental health problems among employees.

Employees Report They Are Too Stressed to Be Effective and this is from a ComPsych Survey. Two-thirds of workers report high stress levels, affecting their ability to be productive. Employees continue to be stressed, with two-thirds stating high stress levels and 29 percent coming to work when they are too stressed to be effective on five or more days per year.

I have found that many people are worried about their jobs and how they can manage financially which leads to excessive pressure and stress. However, many organisations are finding that sickness absence is a problem but a more significant problem is presenteeism.

Presenteeism is the loss in productivity that occurs when staff comes to work but function at less than full capacity because of ill health and this can be due to stress or pressure. However, it is difficult to measure, but there is now international evidence which is highlighting its scale.

When employees go to work and are not performing due to stress how are they managed? This is an area where the employee not only requires support but may require professional help. A manager should be able to speak confidentially to the employee but is the manager the problem?

Some areas which can help individuals or managers at work are:

  • In life we always have choices and sometimes we do not wish to make a hard choice.
  • If work is making you ill is it not time to sit up and take notice?
  • Is it someone within your team who is causing you to feel under stress? Try and speak to them or speak to a manager, HR, occupational health or trade union before the situation gets worse and it has a long-term impact on your health.
  • Do you stay in a job that is making you ill?
  • Look at your current job objectively and find out what is making you feel so stressed and identify if there is anything that can change or ask for a change in your current job (a small change can make a big difference).
  • Do you have the right skills for the job and if not, consider some training.
  • Change to another job if at all possible or go to another department.
  • Each individual has the power to change and make changes – it is not easy but it can be done with being positive.
  • Aim to look at a negative and change it to a positive, this can help to alleviate some of that pressure.
All managers should be trained on Managing Stress so that they are able to identify stress and be able to manage it effectively.